Hang Out and Play

I'm glad you're as mentally unwell as I am.

September 17, 2021 Hang Out and Play Episode 23
Hang Out and Play
I'm glad you're as mentally unwell as I am.
Show Notes Transcript

Hi friends! Happy Friday - hang out and play Islanders and Assassins Creed: Origins with us! These are two games we haven't played on the pod so far and we had a lot of fun. Today's episode we talk about therapy and how everything... just kind of sucks right now. I'm sure you can relate, so we hope you enjoy the episode and we hope you're doing well. Please be gentle with yourself because life is hard for everyone right now and you're doing your best.

Games in this episode
Islanders | Nintendo eshop link

"ISLANDERS is a relaxing, minimalist strategy game about building cities on colourful islands.

With simple and intuitive building mechanics, you have the freedom to create your own cities on the rugged cliffs of the game’s islands in half an hour or less. 

Explore these procedurally generated Islands from lush green grasslands to dry deserts and snowy mountainscapes and expand your settlements from sprawling villages to vast cities."

Assassins Creed: Origins | Playstation store link


Ancient Egypt, a land of majesty and intrigue, is disappearing in a ruthless fight for power. Unveil dark secrets and forgotten myths as you go back to the one founding moment: The Origins of the Assassin’s Brotherhood.

Sail down the Nile, uncover the mysteries of the pyramids, or fight your way against dangerous ancient factions and wild beasts as you explore this gigantic and unpredictable land.

Engage in multiple quests and gripping stories as you cross paths with strong and memorable characters, from the wealthiest high-born to the most desperate outcasts.

Experience a completely new way to fight. Loot and use dozens of weapons with different characteristics and rarities. Explore deep progression mechanics and challenge your skills against unique and powerful bosses."

Karly  0:00  
[Music fades in] Hey there, welcome to our podcast where we try to figure out life together one video game at a time. I'm Karly. 

Sam  0:07  
And I'm Sam. grab a snack, grab your controller, and let's hang out and play. 

Karly  0:27  
Hi, buddy.

Sam  0:28  
Hey, dude.

Karly  0:31  
Take two. 

Sam  0:33  
We're just gonna move past it. I just everything sucks. Just everything is garbage. 

Karly  0:47  
Right out of the gate, we're miserable. Hello, welcome to our podcast. 

Sam  0:51  

Karly  0:56  
I said this in our first attempt, so it truly feels even more important now. We know that the episodes have been very sporadic, and chaotic. There have been just so many terrible things we've been dealing with, with basically all of Sam's equipment dying, like one after another. And health issues and life issues and just like everything has been just not good. And then we're like, okay, we're finally gonna re record, we get 15 minutes into it, only to find out that Sam's software stopped recording for no reason. 

Sam  1:42  
Yeah, after five minutes, so we're really doing great. 

Karly  1:46  
Yeah. Yeah, you know, we, we do be going through it. We're here, we're back. We're trying it again. 

Sam  1:59  
Well now you have to re talk about and re explain the game that you're playing. 

Karly  2:05  
Oh, God, okay, I'll go first. Um, I am playing Islanders. And I'm much I'm even happier about my choice now than I was when I chose it 15 minutes ago. Islanders is a new game, it was in one of the more recent Nintendo indie directs, you basically get procedurally generated islands, which is cool, because it means they're always different. And you start out, and you just have like this empty little island. And it'll give you two options of what you would like to build on your island. So for example, you could build houses, or you could build like a farm, or a brewery, or mason, etc, etc. And when you place them down, like they're worth more or less points, depending on where you put them and what you put them near. And so the strategy is to just get the highest score, you can. And there are certain like, I guess, like point thresholds, and each time you pass it, then you unlock more things that you can place down on your island. And then the further you go, the more islands you can unlock, and it just kind of it goes indefinitely. And just you know, the goal is to just get the highest score, you can. But the graphics are really cute. The music is really relaxing, and you don't have like a time limit or anything. So the worst thing that happens is that you get game over and then you just start back from the beginning. But other than that, it's just like a really relaxing game. And it was only $5 so big recommend it. It's not $5 on sale, either. It's just the game cost $5.

Sam  3:53  
Love that.

Karly  3:54  
So if you need a good relaxing game, I recommend it. Your turn. What are you playing?

Sam  4:01  
Assassin's Creed. I'm out of arrows so I was trying to stealthily kill someone. And that didn't work out. Cause of course it didn't. But I'm playing Assassin's Creed Origins, which is the Egyptian one they put out two right around the same time they put out a Assassin's Creed Odyssey, which was based off of like, Greek mythology. And then Origins and again, I think they were both right released right around the same time. 

Karly  4:35  

Sam  4:35  
And it was on sale for $15, so, yeah. 

Karly  4:38  
We love a sale.

Sam  4:40  
I really shouldn't have bought another game I have so many games. Well, so it started with because it's September which means new free games through PlayStation Plus. Um, but they were like crap games. I was like, well, what other games could I maybe buy? And then this was on there. So I was like okay, well, I guess I'm buying it. But I really shouldn't have bought another game I have so many games that I have gotten through PlayStation Plus that I really do enjoy. Or that I haven't even got a chance to play or even start so I know that I should do those. But well can't be tamed, so.

Karly  5:24  
I mean, it's not like they're gonna expire. So you know, you can always go back to them later sometimes I feel like you know, the world is literally falling down around us so if a game you really want is on sale heck it, get the game. 

Sam  5:42  

Karly  5:43  
I have never played that game. I've never played any of the Assassin's Creed games. I have watched my brother Kevin play them. I think he has most of them. I don't know for sure. I know that he has, which one is the Egypt one Odyssey or Origins? 

Sam  6:01  

Karly  6:01  
I already forget. I know he has that one. Because he like, basically sold me on it that you can like explore the pyramids and stuff because I've been really obsessed with them ever since I was a kid. I had a book about them where you could like flip through and like each time you like turn the page you could see like a different layer of the pyramids. And I thought it was like the coolest thing. Like, I can vividly remember laying on like my porch swing as a little kid. 

Sam  6:33  

Karly  6:33  
Just flipping through that book over and over and over again. So it looks fun. It just looks very overwhelming to me. So I don't know that I would ever play it.

Sam  6:42  
You would like it. It's similar to like Horizon Zero Dawn in the sense of like, it's open world but like you have like specific quests so it's not overwhelming in that sense. It's also just really pretty, like I think the graphics are really good.

Karly  6:58  
Yeah. To be fair, though, you say this, but I did not finish Horizon Zero Dawn because I got overwhelmed.

Sam  7:04  
You could have finished. You - no, you didn't finish it because you don't like endings. You, but you went through the entire game basically.

Karly  7:14  
This is true. Um. Yeah, I I have a track record of doing this with games. It frustrates everybody around me, but I can't help it. I got to like the very end where they tell you 'okay, once you go here, you there's no turning back. This is the end.' And then I was like, okay, I'm done. So, there's that. And then I went to go back and just finish it like this probably like a year after I finished it. And I had forgotten how to play. And I was like, well I can't go to the end now. Cause it's gonna be the hardest part of the game. And I don't remember how to play. 

Sam  7:49  

Karly  7:50  
So I was like, I'll just start a new save file. And I got like, an hour into the game. And I was like, I don't want to play anymore. I already did all this. So really, there's just no winning with me. 

Sam  8:02  
I'm currently trying to sneak uh... I have to go to the Royal is it scribe? Scribes office? Scribe? Right? That's the right word. 

Karly  8:15  
I guess? 

Sam  8:16  

Karly  8:17  
I don't know why you're asking me. 

Sam  8:19  
Cause you're the smart one. You're the smart friend. 

Karly  8:22  
I am not the smart one. 

Sam  8:23  
Yes, you are. 

Karly  8:24  
Okay. Well, I appreciate the vote of confidence. I think you're incorrect, but I'll take it. I know we've been hanging out for like a little while today, because Sam and I are on FaceTime while I was working earlier, but I just feel like it's been so long since I've like talked to you. Like had like an actual real conversation with you. And that makes me sad. 

Sam  8:51  
I know. Geez, I just almost ran into a guard. Oh, that was scary. Not to like ruin the moment or anything. Um, but I know, we were kind of saying it's just been. Quite honestly, I don't feel like, really feel like I've talked too much of anyone. Oh geez, think I was caught. I really haven't just been I haven't really been doing much of anything outside of just working and then when I'm not working. Just like barely existing I feel like.

Karly  9:28  
Yeah, I mean, that's fair. Life is just not good right now, is it? 

Sam  9:35  

Karly  9:38  
Is there anything like in particular that like you want to get into or not really? 

Sam  9:43  
Um, no. I mean, it's just like the same thing. Like I'm just angry at my job and the pandemic and people because of the pandemic.

Karly  9:57  
Yeah, yep. I feel you there. I don't think I've really talked about it a ton on the podcast, but I guess I did a little bit. I've had stomach issues for over a year now. So it started like last year, I would have like really like cramps, but like sometimes cramp doesn't even feel like the right way to describe it. Because it's not like when I'm like, on my period or anything, like it doesn't feel like that it just kind of hurts and is sore and achy. And like randomly, like nauseous. 

Sam  10:34  

Karly  10:37  
And it was just really weird. Like, I can remember last year being like, I don't know what's wrong with me. But like, if I'm not like laying down I, I just don't feel good. And then in April of this year then I had that, I'd get like these really bad pains and in like, my rib and my back. And it would not happen like, it wasn't like any consistent thing. It didn't happen all the time. I would go like months without happening. But then when it happened, it was terrible. And then in April, it happened really bad. I went to the ER found out I have gallstones. So that was that. Um, and then I just have like inter intermittent like random stomach issues, like some days I'm fine some days I'm not. And like you've seen how quick it happens because like you and Lexi, were here that one day and I just like randomly was like, okay, I'm dying. I have to go to my room. Sorry. Bye. 

Sam  11:31  

Karly  11:33  
Like, it just comes out of nowhere. And then towards the end of like, last month. I think it was like around the 26th or something. Since then I have felt like garbage like every single day straight. Just absolute misery. Not like the really intense pain, like when I found out I have gallstones, but just not good. 

Sam  11:54  

Karly  11:56  
So I tried to get a doctor's appointment. And they were like, sorry, the earliest that you can come in is October 18th. 

Sam  12:04  

Karly  12:06  
Right. And I was like, that is too long for me to wait feeling like this. I can barely eat. I can. I'm like not functional. 

Sam  12:15  

Karly  12:16  
And then I luckily, I don't know what made me think to do it. But one night, I was like, it's midnight. I'm gonna check and see, can I because you can book your appointments online now. So it's like, I'm gonna look and see do they have any openings? Like maybe because it's like, technically a new day. Like, if anybody's cancelled. 

Sam  12:36  

Karly  12:36  
Openings will show up. And they did. 

Sam  12:38  

Karly  12:38  
So I have an appointment for Tuesday. 

Sam  12:41  

Karly  12:41  
But it's like I was talking to my mom. So I have really bad anxiety about like, when I don't feel good, because when I was child, I have a lot of medical issues that landed me in the hospital. So I guess that's trauma. So I always get really anxious if there's something like terribly wrong with me. 

Sam  13:03  

Karly  13:04  
But I was in the ER, and they did like CAT scans and blood works and like, all kinds of tests and stuff. So like, if it was something truly terrible, I think they would have found it then. So we're kind of assuming it's just my gallbladder. But if it is that, I feel like I'll probably end up a little screwed because most hospitals aren't taking elective procedures right now. 

Sam  13:26  
Right? Because pandemic. 

Karly  13:28  
Because COVID. So, anyways, this was like a very long winded way to say that I too, am very angry at people who aren't doing the shit that they need to do to end this pandemic, particularly, who won't get their vaccines, because that's not even like that. Like, it's not like life threatening for me. It's just sucks. 

Sam  13:52  

Karly  13:53  
But like, I wish the people would understand like, just because they say it's elective. literally all that means is that it was scheduled in advance. 

Sam  14:04  

Karly  14:05  
It doesn't mean it's not, you know, an emergency really just means they don't have to like you didn't come in and an ambulance and need it right this second. 

Sam  14:14  

Karly  14:15  
Everything is like an elective procedure, like people who have tumors - I saw on Twitter, who's trying to go viral because and get like support and have people like reach out to politicians because they canceled his surgery, his brain surgery indefinitely. 

Sam  14:32  

Karly  14:33  
Because there's no beds for him and he has a brain tumor. But then people want to not get their vaccines and say, it's a personal choice. It doesn't affect everybody else like it. Angy.

Sam  14:47  
We literally live in one of the worst countries ever. 

Karly  14:51  
America's like obsession with individuality and like looking out for yourself and no one else will literally be the end of us. 

Sam  15:01  

Karly  15:02  
Because nobody gives a shit about anybody else. 

Sam  15:04  

Karly  15:07  
But anyway, I don't know if you can hear my cat. She just rubbed against the mic. So she says, Hello. 

Sam  15:14  
No, I didn't hear it. I would have loved to.

Karly  15:17  
Oh, well, there was Pippin. She says, Hey.

Sam  15:20  

Karly  15:21  
But because like we have both been going through it. It feels like a, an appropriate time to mention that your girl has started therapy. 

Sam  15:37  

Karly  15:38  
Yay. It has been a long time coming. I wanted to go for years. But it was just really hard to find somebody who takes my insurance that I could do, virtually. 

Sam  15:56  

Karly  15:57  
Instead of just like - Pippin, baby love, go where you are going. Thank you. Um, but I finally found one. So like, I guess that's one good thing about the pandemic is that like, there are more online options for appointments and stuff. Pippin. My girl. Cross through. There you go. 

Sam  16:22  
There you go, baby love.

Karly  16:23  
Pippin really wants to be included today. So yeah, I just had my first session a few weeks ago.  *loud crash in background* Oh, could you hear that? 

Sam  16:35  

Karly  16:36  
That was Pippin. Diving into my window after a lizard. 

Sam  16:39  
Well, chase after your dreams Pippin chase after your dream. It's too late for me. *laughing*

Karly  16:51  
You go, save yourself. I had my first session. And then unfortunately, she was like, I can't see you again until the 20th. Because it just so happens the timing is not great right now. She's like moving and going out of town this month. So I have to wait until the 20th for my second appointment, but.

Sam  17:13  
The 20th September or 20th of October?

Karly  17:18  

Sam  17:19  

Karly  17:20  
Yeah. So it'll be three weeks between my first and second visit/session. 

Sam  17:25  
Okay. Well, I'm glad that I mean, I know it's, you know, it's only the first session so you can only, you know, determine or kind of have an idea, but I'm glad that it's going so well. Or going well so far.

Karly  17:41  
Yeah, she was really nice. It's really funny, though, because you sent me a tiktok I'd actually seen it before, but it's funny every time where they're like, 'why didn't anybody tell me that your first session of therapy is like this' and it's Andy from Parks and Rec. 

Sam  17:56  

Karly  17:56  
And he's just like listening this endless list of random things that are wrong with him. 

Sam  18:00  
Yeah. Yeah. Where he's like, 'no, I'm good. Oh, but then I also.' 

Karly  18:06  

Sam  18:07  
'It's fuzzy when I look at things far away. One time I ate a Twix with the wrapper still on.'

Karly  18:11  
'I have swallowed every single piece of gum I've ever eaten. Fix me.'

Sam  18:17  
Um, I always I always get a little bit anxious before any of my therapy sessions. And I'm like, what if I have nothing to talk about? And it's always funny because I have never, not once had nothing to talk about.

Karly  18:39  
I was a little nervous because I'm not always good at like verbalizing my emotions, like beyond saying, I'm miserable, that everything sucks. 

Sam  18:50  

Karly  18:51  
I have a hard time putting into words like specifically what I am feeling and why, if that makes sense. 

Sam  18:57  

Karly  19:00  
So I was a little bit nervous, but like, first session, she basically like introduced herself and like asked me about me like, not necessarily about like, why I'm sad or anything but just like about me in general. And then she just like, like a ninja started, like prying into the things that I was saying and like, asking me questions. And before I know that I'm just like, talking about how I don't trust people. And like, I got more into things than I thought that I would in just like the first session and then like, we had literally two minutes left before the call was gonna end she goes, 'okay do you have any other questions?' and I was like, yeah, can we talk about how I think I have undiagnosed ADHD next session? 

Sam  19:42  

Karly  19:43  
She was like, '...okay, sure.' And I was like, sorry. I realized I probably should have mentioned that earlier. Like, I just didn't get to it yet. But I think I'm undiagnosed that she was like, 'yeah, okay, we'll get into that.' It's like okay, great. Um, how has therapy been going for you? You're a veteran. You've been in it for a while.

Sam  20:06  
Yep. Three years, I think. I also just started group therapy on top of my regular therapy. So hahaha. Cause, you know - why? 

Karly  20:22  
I mean, if you're - oh, what?

Sam  20:24  
Sorry, I'm sorry, I got stuck, and I couldn't move. And I was dying. Um, basically, my therapist was like, I think it's gonna be good for you like, with kind of what we're already like dealing with, like, or like what you're working on and what you're kind of hoping to, like gain. Like, it might be nice to like, just like, have like this other perspective. And my therapist, like helps run it. So she was like, I think it might be good. So I just had my first a group therapy session on top of my individual therapy session and. 

Karly  21:05  

Sam  21:05  
Yeah, group therapy is very weird. Not in like a bad way. I'm just not. It's just different.

Karly  21:16  
Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's hard enough to bare your soul to one person let alone a group. 

Sam  21:21  
Yeah, be vulnerable in front of strangers. So it's an eight week like group therapy session thing. So I missed the first one. So there's six more sessions. So we'll see how it goes. 

Karly  21:37  

Sam  21:38  

Karly  21:38  
Are you comfortable with me asking questions about it? Obviously, I won't pry into like what you said or anything. 

Sam  21:45  
No, yeah, you can I don't care. 

Karly  21:48  
Well, first of all, are you is this virtual as well? Or are you going in? 

Sam  21:52  
Oh, no, it's virtual. 

Karly  21:53  
Okay. Yeah, I think I will probably be too scared to do it in person.

Sam  21:59  
Like therapy in general or group therapy? 

Karly  22:02  
Group therapy. 

Sam  22:03  
Um, I'm yeah, I don't know. I think either one. I wouldn't. I wouldn't mind either one, but. 

Karly  22:10  
You're much more outgoing than I am though. 

Sam  22:13  

Karly  22:14  
I, I do better in social situations with like, four people, other than me and under. 

Sam  22:24  

Karly  22:25  
Like, any more than that I get kind of scared and overwhelmed and feel like I can't speak up or anything. So I think I would probably have a hard time with it. Is it like a group of people who are kind of dealing with like, similar struggles, or it's just kind of like anything goes? 

Sam  22:42  
I think it's just ike anything goes. 

Karly  22:44  

Sam  22:46  

Karly  22:47  

Sam  22:47  
I was like, trying, it was so interesting, because I was like, wanting to participate, but also just kind of overwhelmed and trying to take it all in. And also, because my therapist was there, I had this weird thing of wanting to please people. So I was like, am I making her proud? Like, and how weird is that? Like, I was like I don't want her to think I'm just sitting here not taking it in like.

Karly  23:12  
No, I mean, I can understand that. I'm kind of the same way like I went. It's like how I was with teachers and school. Kind of. 

Sam  23:19  

Karly  23:20  
How many people are in your? In your group?

Sam  23:24  
There's five of us? Total? I think.

Karly  23:28  
Hmm, gotcha. 

Sam  23:29  
Yeah. So it's very small. 

Karly  23:31  
Okay. Well, I mean, I hope that it helps. I could, I could see that it would be helpful, especially for you, because you are so social. And I think just seeing like other people going through shit. Like, together with you. I could see how that would help you. 

Sam  23:49  
Yeah. Yeah. So we'll see. 

Karly  23:51  
Yeah. Well, I know I've already told you, but I am always very proud of you. 

Sam  23:57  
Thanks, Mom. 

Karly  23:58  
Because, yeah, it's hard to do shit to take care of yourself. Especially when like, no one's making you do it. You know? 

Sam  24:07  
Yeah. That's true.

Karly  24:08  
You have to make the choice and do it. 

Sam  24:10  

Karly  24:11  
So very proud of you. I love you. 

Sam  24:14  
I love you. 

Karly  24:16  
I just think our conversations like when we catch up week to week and be like, Oh, how are you? Great. I cried in therapy. And my therapist called me out and my trauma and I'm having a mental breakdown about that. How are you? Same.

Sam  24:30  
Yeah, it be like that sometimes. 

Karly  24:38  
You know, it do. My therapist was talking to me about, like, just like people in my life, like, I guess like asking to like to see my relationships and stuff. And she was like, have you ever? She was like, are you in a relationship? And I was like, No. She goes, have you ever been and I said, no. And she just looked straight into the camera goes, why? Girl, you tell me.

Sam  25:06  

Karly  25:11  
It was like the only moment in that first session was like, Oh, no, what am I doing here? But it was fine. Like I explained to her about how like dating apps are a hellscape or whatever. And she was like, Oh, yeah, totally and talked about, like, she hasn't had any luck on them either, which is surprising, because she's beautiful, just for the record. So like, I'm like, Girl, why are you asking me why you look like that. And you haven't had any luck? And you look at me, Goblin, and ask why?

Sam  25:49  
That's something, you know, kind of thinking about I sent you that tiktok the other day about, like, what is helpful or what not to say to people that are, you know, struggling about, you know, being in a relationship of like, what was the example they gave? It'll happen when you least expect it? And like, just how like

Karly  26:14  

Sam  26:14  
A lot of times, we just need, that's not helpful advice that we need to hear or want to hear. Instead, like, for me, I was like,

Karly  26:24  
Or like the 'you're not missing anything.'

Sam  26:26  
Yeah. Or like, stay single forever. No, I don't want to be single forever.

Karly  26:32  
Right. Like, that one in particular pisses me off. It's like, you clearly don't believe that either or else he would break up with your significant other. 

Sam  26:41  

Karly  26:42  
You know, like, if you're not willing to lose what you have, why would you suggest that like, we shouldn't have it? 

Sam  26:50  
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there's, I mean, there's so many things that I don't like that people say, and I know, I know, that it's coming from a good place. I understand that. But it's not helpful. Like,

Karly  27:08  
And, you know, sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off. 

Sam  27:10  
No, it's okay. I was just saying like the, it'll happen when you least expect it, or the one that really gets me is no one can love you until you love yourself. Or my dad the other night. I was talking to my cousin. And she made the joke of stay single forever. And I replied to her. Don't worry. My lack of attractiveness is doing a bang up job with making sure that that stays that way, or that I stay that way. And I was like, in the car with my parents. And I was like saying that. And then like my dad went on, like a tangent of like, he literally was like, you have so much to offer and all this stuff. And it literally made me think of the quote from 10 inch hero. which is my favorite quote in the world. Like, I never said that I don't have a lot to offer. That's not what when I say things like that. I know I have a lot to offer. I know I'm really great. What's upsetting to me, or what makes me really sad is that no one gives me the chance.

Karly  28:19  
Right? That like people immediately look at you and like discount you. 

Sam  28:23  

Karly  28:23  
 Before you, they even have a chance to know you.

Sam  28:25  

Karly  28:26  

Sam  28:26  
And I know my dad, again, I know my dad meant well, I know my cousin means well, I know anyone I talked to means well, it just, I just like just let me rant like I don't need you to give me any piece of advice or tidbits a lot of the time, most of the times, I just want you to agree with me that it sucks.

Karly  28:44  
And like, the thing that more people need to realize and understand is that it doesn't matter if you mean well, like your intent isn't always more important than the impact has.

Sam  28:57  

Karly  28:58  
And like if something is clearly upsetting for somebody to hear, it's not gonna make them feel better the fifth time they hear it. 

Sam  29:07  

Karly  29:08  
You know? I don't know. I just think it's so frustrating that as soon as people get into a relationship, they immediately forget how they felt when they were single.

Sam  29:21  

Karly  29:21  
You know, like, why are you why are you saying these things that, you know, would have pissed you off when you were single? 

Sam  29:29  

Karly  29:30  
It hasn't been that long. Not to call him out. But I don't think he listenes so I don't think it really matters. My brother 

Sam  29:37  
*laughing* I knew it. I knew you, I was like ooooh.

Karly  29:45  
He somehow got a girlfriend from hinge. Last year. Well, I guess, technically like this year, but he met her. I don't I don't know when he met her. Anyway. He has a girlfriend. It'll be one year in January. 

Sam  30:01  
Oh my god. 

Karly  30:02  
So like it's been a while. I know. I know. When I tell you this man was absolutely insufferable until he met her. I'm not kidding. And now, like when I'm insufferable, and I know that I am, I've been going through it. I've been miserable to be around. I am fully aware of that. He acts like he, like can't possibly understand why I'm in such a bad mood. And I'm like, sir. 

Sam  30:31  

Karly  30:32  
Not all of us found somebody who loves us. Some of us are still alone. 

Sam  30:38  

Karly  30:39  
Can't wait to talk about this with my therapist in a couple weeks. Oh, God. 

Sam  30:48  

Karly  30:49  
We're definitely gonna have to do another episode sometime about dating and dating apps. Because I feel like you and I have so much pent up rage about that, 

Sam  30:59  
You know, the way that I

Karly  31:00  
We need to release it.

Sam  31:02  
The way I kind of describe it. I, the way I described it to my therapist. And so it's like, the only way I guess I can kind of make it make sense for people to kind of understand how sad I get. And my therapist actually kind of talks about it as like, it is grief, like you have, like, a loss essentially of something that hasn't happened yet. Right? So it makes sense. But here's how I describe it. I describe it as almost like, if you take like a hockey like an ice skating rink, right? A rink, and it's filled with, for me, Golden Retriever puppies, and all of your friends, your family, everyone that you love, and you're around, right is in that playpen playing with the golden retriever puppies. And every time that you try to go into the pen, someone tells you you can't do it, or whatever, the gates locked, whatever. So you just get to watch because you know how like ice skating rinks have like that plexiglass, like around the entire thing. So you get to watch everyone around you play with these puppies. And you don't. And you can change that out with anything that you that you love a lot, or that you enjoy a lot, right? kittens, ice cream, whatever. Right? But like, that's like the level of like, not to be dramatic, but like, pain. But I feel like on the regular.

Karly  32:43  
Yeah. No, that makes sense. Um, and like not to, like, change the subject or like, make it about me cause that's not what I'm trying to do.

Sam  32:52  
No that's okay.

Karly  32:52  
But feel like you just gave me like, the perfect metaphor for how I just feel about like, life in general. 

Sam  33:01  

Karly  33:01  
For the past like, year and a half. Like, I never, I never thought about it like that. But that's, that's exactly how I feel. 

Sam  33:10  

Karly  33:11  
One with dating. But just like in general, like being behind the Plexiglas and watching everybody go about their lives and meanwhile, I still have to be isolated at home.

Sam  33:20  
Yeah. Oh, I swear, we use that analogy for everything. I use it currently with work and promotions. That like I, I get told that I can go play with the puppies, but I have to do X, Y and Z first, right? So I go, and I take their feedback, and I do whatever they tell me to do. I come back later. And then they they give me something else to do. And I still don't get to play with the puppies. And again, you can swap it for any particular thing. A personal relationship, a work relationship, a romantic relationship, like whatever it is, right? So we use it a lot. We I love talking. I love. We talk a lot in analogies. And like metaphors.

Karly  34:01  

Sam  34:01  
And like visuals, which is good and helpful. So.

Karly  34:05  
I'm one excited to be able to, like, get to that point in therapy where like, we really get to like deep dive and talk about that kind of stuff. 

Sam  34:13  

Karly  34:15  
But I'm also preemptively sad about it. Because, I mean, I told her like, I at this point, like I I need coping skills, I guess. And like, acceptance skills. 

Sam  34:31  
Yeah. Yeah.

Karly  34:31  
I guess, if that's a thing, because I know that while some of like, my mental health issues might be like a biological thing, like some kind of undiagnosed condition or something. That's not all of it, and like the circumstances of my life are not going to change. 

Sam  34:51  

Karly  34:51  
You know? And like, that's sort of hard. Sometimes. I guess like, like you said earlier, if It's like the same kind of thing. It's like grief. Like, you still have to accept that, like, you don't have something.

Sam  35:05  

Karly  35:07  
And like, you're not gonna have it. There was a tiktok that was going around, you know that sound. It's like, the song like it's my party and I'll cry if I want to as the music cuts out. 

Sam  35:17  

Karly  35:18  
Yeah, those those been messing me up for a while.

Sam  35:21  
God same. 

Karly  35:24  
But there was one that was like, oh, I had a good childhood like, I didn't have any childhood trauma. And then like the music cuts, it was like, you know that trauma isn't just the things to happen, but it's also the good things that didn't. 

Sam  35:38  
Yep. Yeah.

Karly  35:40  
And I was like... oh. 

Sam  35:41  
I think I saw that one too and it effed me up. 

Karly  35:45  

Sam  35:45  
And I was like that makes sense. 

Karly  35:46  

Sam  35:48  

Karly  35:49  
You know, I'm just really glad that we met at a time of our lives where like, we weren't like, great, but we were okay. And now we're just like, such. Like, wrecks. 

Karly  35:59  

Karly  36:00  
Like, I'm glad that you're as mentally unwell as I am. Not because I'm happy you're unwell, but just so I don't have to be unwell alone. 

Sam  36:07  
No, that's fair. That's fair. 

Karly  36:09  
How's your game going? Give us an update before we have to go.

Sam  36:14  
Hmm. It's fine. I hate when like, I when I - and I hear how this sounds, but I know we've talked about it before. I hate when I have to travel somewhere and I can't fast travel and I actually have to walk in a video game. Who do they think I am? *laughing* I didn't sign up for this? Like I do not want too. Um, but yeah, I just 

Karly  36:38  
I actually

Sam  36:40  
Oh, what? 

Karly  36:41  
I was just gonna say I hoard fast travels. Because I I don't like to use them. 

Sam  36:48  

Karly  36:49  
But also. Yeah, I also like, I love to just like wander in video games. Like I find that so relaxing. Like, I'm the kind of person who will play Grand Theft Auto and just drive and obey traffic laws.

Sam  37:04  
Well, that I feel like. Yeah. 

Karly  37:05  
Like, I just I like the traveling. It's the least scary part of the game.

Sam  37:10  
No, this I have to travel like 700 meters. And I'm like, why don't I have a fast travel spot that's gonna get me closer?

Karly  37:19  
See, like, I when I'm traveling, I'll be like hyping myself up for the fight that I'm scared to do so I don't mind when it takes a while. I just unlocked a new island, so. 

Sam  37:31  

Karly  37:33  
Yeah, I I had a high score of like, almost 10,000 last night and got Game over. So I'm a little sad. But I'm currently at like 1.5000. So I don't know why I said it like that. I'm at 1500. 

Sam  37:47  
Do you know what Lexi's top score is? 

Karly  37:50  
I think like, three something maybe. 

Sam  37:53  
300 or 3000?

Karly  37:55  
3000. I think.

Sam  37:56  
Oh okay. I was just curious. 

Karly  37:59  
This was nice. I miss doing this.

Sam  38:01  
I know. I had therapy today. So I you know, I got a lot of emotions out but it also just like, stirred up emotions again and ranting again to you was very helpful. So.

Karly  38:11  
Well. I am literally always down to listen to you. I don't care if it's three o'clock in the morning. I got you. 

Sam  38:20  
Thanks, bish. Um, any thoughts on what you're gonna play next time?

Karly  38:26  
Um, I think I might play Ary and the secret of seasons, because we had started to play that. And it was one of the episodes that got scrapped. 

Sam  38:35  
Oh, yeah. Yeah it was. 

Karly  38:37  
Yeah. And I haven't gotten very far in it. So I kind of want to go back and see if I can make some progress.

Sam  38:46  

Karly  38:47  
What about you?

Sam  38:49  
I don't know, I think I'm gonna keep playing. I'll probably still be playing origins. Let's be real. 

Karly  38:54  
That's fair. 

Sam  38:56  
Because I hyperfixate.

Karly  39:00  
It do be like that. 

Sam  39:04  
Alright, well - bye.

Karly  39:06  

Sam  39:07  
[Music fades in] Hey, and thanks for hanging out and playing with us. We hope you had fun. If you want to see more of us, find us on social media @hangoutandplay or on our website at hangoutandplaypod.com. We'd love to hear from you so feel free to send us a game suggestion or just a hello.

Karly  39:28  
And if you liked our podcast, please share it with your friends. And leave us a review on Apple podcasts so that more people can find us. We'll see you next time. [Music fades out]